The Doomy Chaos of Doom Part I
by LadyDianna
Summary: It's a chaos, the story has no plot! I don't even know why I'm writing a summary! Names have been changed cause I wanted to write something else...


Disclaimer- I am stealing this idea from my sister, who in turn stole it from her friend. So in a sense, I don't own the rights to the idea of a 'Chaos.' Don't steal! You will feel the never-ending wrath of 'Those Who Eat Pie'. Trust me, if they haven't had their pie, they get very grumpy If this makes any sense what-so-ever to you, please tell me, I'm still trying to figure it out. Please R/R Scene One  
  
  
  
* There are three people standing in an enormous field staring at the sky. The Minuet of the Forest from Zelda is playing. * Emilia- Uhm, why are we standing in this field? * Continues staring at the sky. * Sarah- It's symbolic! Eileen- What does it symbolize? * Pauses to eat an apple pie thingy from McDonalds. * Mmmm, das gooo-ood eatin'! And where is that music coming from? The Chieftains- Hi there! Emilia- Wow! It's the Chieftains! Eileen- Are you ready to do a song Chieftains? The Chieftains- Um, no....Why are you? Eileen- I'as born ready Chieftains! The Chieftains- We're leaving now. * cough * Weirdoes. Emilia- That's right! Run away with your skirts fluttering in the wind! Sarah- I believe they're called kilts, Emilia. * Bolero of Fire plays * Eileen- ? A? A????!!! * Dances about. * Emilia/Sarah- We've gotta find out who's playing! * Stomachs make weird foodless noises. * Emilia- Silence! * Punches her stomach and farts. * Oh yeah. * Sighs * Eileen/Sarah- Ewwwwwwwww! * Pass out. * Scene Bunny- Heey kids! Are you ready for comedy? ARE YOU!! I dance now! * Does happy jig * Whoa! Ho-yah! Woo! Poop-dog! All right now! Get ready for fun! Cuz....Here comes the NEXT SCENE! * Nothing happens * Where's the next scene? Emilia- * sticks head out * Sarah and Eileen are still past out and I'm having problems getting into the cow costume. Just stall for a couple more minutes. Scene Bunny- Okay! * Stares * Prepare to love me! Doo-bee-doo! Boop boop! Yay! * Gets squished by giant carrot. * Oh the pain.. * dies * Sarah- Hello! I am no longer insentient! Yippee! * Looks down at the mess on her shoes * Oh crap, now we need to get a new scene thingy. * Searches through the 'Box o' Scene Changers'. * Oh! Here's one! * House elf looking thing appears * Scene Elf- I am the scene elf. Here is my resume. * Hands Sarah a candy- cane stripped piece of paper. * Sarah- * stroking her chin thoughtfully * Hmm, so you've worked at Santa's workshop. Scene Elf- Well, at a mall. Not the actual one. Sarah- * stares * Well, that's crappy. You're just lucky I want pie or you'd be so not hired! Start now, I must get pie! * Scrambles off of the scene changing place. * Scene Elf- Here's da' next scene! * Does lame little elf jig. Audience boos *  
  
Scene Two * The 'gang' is wearing costumes. * Emilia- * wearing a fairy/cow outfit * I spell cheese K-R-A-F-T! * Smiles stupidly. * Eileen- * dressed as a box of catfood * Uhm, Emilia, cheese isn't spelled that way. Anyway.. * sings Meow-mix song * Meow, meow, meow, meow, meow meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow.ect Sarah- * dressed as a carton of Ruggles ice cream * Scoop scoop, yum, yum, Ruggles ice cream premium! Scoop, scoop, yum, yum. Ruggles gotta get me some....More! Emilia- * looks around confused * Sarah? * Eyes begin to water * Sarah- Whuzzat? Emilia- Where is the grass? Sarah- * coughs * Eileen- Why are we dressed as dairy products and cat food? * Begins to gnaw on Emilia's cheese skirt * Emilia- Now cut that out! * Takes handful of Eileen's catfood and munches on it thoughtfully * Sarah- Did this chaos have a main idea? I could swear we were trying to do something. Emilia- Uhmmm...... Eileen- Uhmmmmmm.. * drools * Pie... * Song from Zora's Domain plays. Eileen and Emilia sit down and slowly move to their left. * Eileen/Emilia- Oooeeep, oooeeep, oooeeep....ect * Sarah stands there tapping her foot and looking at her Lucky Charms watch * Sarah- Come on guys, I've been standing here for a good three minutes. Let's go. * Emilia and Eileen stand and look at her watch. * Eileen- Wowie! Is That a Lucky Charms watch? Sarah- Yup! Lucky- * runs by * They're magically delicious! * Accidentally runs off a cliff * Hearts stars and horseshoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo- SPLAT!! Emilia/Eileen- Oh no! Sarah- * gnawing on the watch. Looks around * Uhm, yeah, baaaad. Now come on, I wanna get some Trix. Trix Rabbit- * Appears dressed as an old grandma. * Emilia- Fatuous rabbit, Trix are for the adolescence! * Giant container of Trix yogurt squishes him. * Eileen- Let's go get some pie! Emilia- PIE! Sarah- PIE! Narrator- And they all ate pie, and it was good.. * Ugly grandpa man is reading a story to his grandkid. * Grandpa- ..and they all ate pie until the cows came home and they still were not satiated. Little Kid- Wow!! Is that really true Grandpa? Grandpa- Yes, Smooky it is. Why? Are you calling me a liar? Huh? Little Kid- No Grandpa! NO GRANDPA!!! NOOOOOOOOOO!! * House explodes * House- ....uhm, BOOOOOOM!!!!!!!!  
  
Scene Three * The 'Gang' is in the Lost Woods. Eileen is wearing the Kokiri tunic, Emilia is wearing the Zora tunic, and Sarah is wearing the Goron tunic. They are Hylians. Which means their ears are elfy-like. * Eileen- * sniffs armpit contentedly * Mmmm, that stinks of Link! I'as sooooo happy dat I stinks of Link! Hey dat rhymes!!!! * Skips around singing 'stinks of Link' * Emilia- Links? Like sausage links? Mmmmmm. * drools * Eileen- NOOOOO!!!!! Sarah- * jumps down from the entrance of The Forest Temple * Yaaaaaaaaaaaah-teh-teh! Emilia- * rolling around * Hit! Hup! Hoop! Steak! Eileen- * is doing the same thing * Porkchop! Meatloaf! Pie! Navi- Hey! Listen! Emilia- Whaddit? * Sees Navi * Sarah- Holy crap! That is the biggest freakin' mosquito I've ever seen! Eileen- * swatting at Navi * Kill it! Kill it! Emilia- * sprays Navi with bug spray. Navi dies * Everyone- YAY! We killed Navi! We killed Navi!!! * Zelda's Lullaby plays and Navi is revived. * Eileen- Well stink! That craps! Emilia- Don't you mean well crap that stinks? Eileen- Uh, no. That doesn't even make sense you baka. * Rolls eyes * Sarah- Quick! Someone say something smart! Eileen/Emilia- Duh.....Pie? Sarah- Yeah pie. * Drools * Navi get us some pie! Navi- LISTEN!!!! Link- No you listen!!! I've been listening to you for a really long time and you're really DUMB! * Mimics Navi * 'Listen! There's a place called Death Mountain' , you should go there.' Well no f-in crap! Where else can you find a mountain by that name but in Hylia!?! It's a big ass volcano! Of course I'm gonna hafta go there! Just quit pestering me about it when I don't have the Goron tunic you idiot! * Takes deep calming breaths. Sees the three and gives them a weird look. They leer at him. * Eileen- Look at me Emmit! I'm leering! Emilia- * has an Eevee * Tackle Norman! Tackle! Uhm, what? Sarah- Link muffin! * glomps Link, who blushes bright red * Eileen- * Has stolen Link's hookshot * Look at meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! * Flies through the air with the greatest of ease * Emilia- * Has Link's mirror shield * Ahhh! My eyes! I'm blind! Link- * Nosebleed *  
  
Scene Four * The Gang plus Link and Navi : Boo! : are riding in a dilapidated car. Sarah is driving. * Sarah- * still has death grip on Link * Lookit! I'm driving! Eileen- I'm gonna die! Watch out for that tree! * points to phantom tree * Eeek! I'm terrified! * goes narcoleptic * SNORE! Emilia- * is bouncing on the seat. * Yippee! This is fun!!! Link- * gasp * Emilia- Sarah, I think that Link needs some air. Eileen- * In her sleep * Stink of Link....* drools * Sarah- Oh! Sorry Link muffin. * releases Link who passes out * Emilia- * horrified * Omigosh! You killed Link! Eileen- * like Snoozer from Hamtaro.* Try a fairy. Zu zu zu. Emilia- * blinks * Oh yeah! * takes a bottled fairy from Link's bottom-less pocket. Releases fairy * Link- Yippee! I'm alive! * glomps Sarah * Sarah- * blush then nosebleed * Narrator- The car starts swerving and Emilia and Sarah scream while Link is still celebrating his rebirth by clinging to Sarah. Emilia/Sarah- We're gonna die! * cry and cover their eyes * Eileen- SNORE!!!!! Navi- * grabs (?) the wheel and steers the car clear of any danger. * Emilia/Sarah- * open their eyes and stare at Navi in disbelief. * Emilia- Navi saved us from near doom! Sarah- Does that mean she's not that bad? Will we have to start a Navi fan club? * looks at Emilia * Eileen- * wakes up * Can she make pie? I think not! Emilia/Sarah- Guess that means no. Link- * glomp *  
  
Scene Five *The Gang plus Link are in a large dessert. :Yes, I know that says 'dessert' and not desert. :* Emilia- This is a tasty scene! * eats vanilla ice cream * Eileen- I want the cherry!! * glomps Link * We should share it, right Link? Sarah- * angry fires surround her as she descends upon Eileen. * YOU DARE GLOMP MY LINK MUFFIN!! Eileen- Hey, I told you to stop glomping in chaos's, this is your forfeiture. Link- * ignores Eileen and happily munches on an over-sized chunk of toffee * Mmmmm, toffee.. Sarah- * with a pie in her hand * Look what I have! Eileen- * big shimmery anime eyes * Pie! Sarah- Sorry for this majestic patisserie. * smashes pie in Eileen's face * Eileen- NOOOOOOOOOOOOO....and so forth. Emilia- * sniffs * It was such an intrepid pie, may it rest in piece.... Narrator- So it was decided that Eileen should be replaced with George W. Bush. The pie was given a proper funeral and Sarah was cleared of all charges, as it was a pieing in self defense.  
  
  
  
Scene Six *Emilia, Sarah, Link, and G.W. are sitting in the Oval Office staring at the horrible carpeting. * Emilia- Really G.W. how did you get stuck with this God awful Barney carpeting? GW- By careful strategery. My brother ordered it for me so people wouldn't know that George W liked Barney. * does that weird eyebrow thingy * Sarah- * very disturbed * So what does the W stand for? GW- Wacko. * Eyebrow thingy * Emilia- This blows snot! I want Leeny back! * steals picture of Barney autographed by the purple freak himself * I'll sell this on E-bay! Sarah- * is glomping Link out of fear * I second that. Barney- Let me out of this glass case! I can't breathe! I'm just a 21 year old kid who needed money to buy DBZ merchandise! Emilia/Sarah- No! Suffocate! GW- Where ya goin'? To the labvitorium? Sarah- That's not even a word you idiot! GW- I can't let you go! You know to much about my plans to fight terrorism. Emilia- All you told us was how you would deploy the Honey Nut Cheerios bee, Toucan Sam, Sunny the bird from the Cocoa Puffs, and Frankenberry and have them find Osama Bin Laden with the magic rainbow they stole from Lucky after his accident! (See page 8) Sarah- Then you wiped your butt with a copy of the Constitution. That's symbolic for defiance of the law. * The fourth amendment. * Emilia- Yeah, and you thought that none of us were smart! So take that! Eileen- I was hiding behind that curtain. Do you guys really want me back? * sad eyes * Sarah/Emilia- Anyone's better than George Wacko Bush! Eileen- That's what the W stood for? I always thought it was W! Narrator- And so the threesome plus Link rode, I mean walked off into the sunset. * Sun's Song plays * Emilia- Oh yeah! We were supposed to find out who was playing that weren't we? Link- * glomps Sarah * It's Mido. Eileen- Mido?! Emilia- Eileen, lets just leave it at that. I mean you were replaced by George Bush. Eileen- Junior! I see your point. Sarah- Lets get some pie! Emilia/Eileen- Yeah pie! Link- With Lonlon milk! Gang- Yeah pie an' milk! Narrator- So that ends the first chapter in the Doomy Chaos of Doom series. Join us when Sarah gets off of her lazy ass and writes another one. Gang- Oh we're singing in the pie! Yes singing in the pie....and such other pleasantries.  
  
End Part One of the Doomy Chaos of Doom...There will be more! Oh the gaiety of more chaos!! 


End file.
